By Allie Volpe
Who are the loneliest people in America?
American men were said to be in a “friendship recession,” with a survey finding the number of men without any close friends increased fivefold since 1990. Meanwhile, resurfaced comments from Republican vice presidential nominee Sen. J.D. Vance complaining that the government was being run by “childless cat ladies” who are unhappy they don’t have children drew widespread condemnation from across the political spectrum. Last year, the US Surgeon General released an advisory underscoring the seriousness of loneliness and isolation. While long-term data on loneliness is lacking, recent surveys have found increases in loneliness that predate the pandemic.
But the answers to who loneliness afflicts — and the solutions to this complex social problem — are not nearly as straightforward as you might think.
Loneliness is more than just isolation: It’s the subjective experience of craving more social interaction than you currently have. It isn’t binary, either, and no one is immune. Loneliness exists on a continuum, says Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University. Most people experience loneliness at some point in their lives and labeling people as lonely can be stigmatizing. “It can make you feel bad about yourself, and then make you even less likely to want to socialize with others [out of] fear of rejection,” Holt-Lunstad says, “but it can also then influence how you perceive the world and social situations that can lead to a negative spiral.”
Chronic loneliness has severe negative physical and mental effects: Loneliness is just as much of a health risk factor as smoking (one of Holt-Lunstad’s most publicized findings likened lacking social connection to smoking 15 cigarettes a day) and alcohol consumption; it has negative effects on cardiovascular and brain health, and may be linked to an increased risk of depression.
Rather than point to certain populations as explicitly lonely, understanding what increases someone’s risk for loneliness can help address it on a population level.
No one is immune from loneliness
Classic stereotypes of loneliness — like unmarried women or elderly people — fail to capture the myriad experiences contributing to loneliness. Life circumstances have a greater impact on loneliness than other demographic categories. Studies have found levels of self-reported loneliness peak in early adulthood, fall in midlife, and rise again late in life. A 2024 American Psychiatric Association survey found that 30 percent of Americans aged 18 to 34 said they were lonely at least several times a week. The 2023 University of Michigan National Poll on Healthy Aging found that 37 percent of US adults aged 50 to 80 reported a lack of companionship over the last year.
There are substantial life changes during emerging adulthood and old age that account for higher levels of loneliness. As young adults graduate from college, move to new cities, begin their careers, and establish their lives, there is a natural culling of relationships, says Eileen Graham, an associate professor of medical social sciences at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine, who co-authored a recent study that found loneliness peaks in young adulthood and old age.
Young adults are more likely to earn lower incomes; a 2023 Gallup poll also found those in households earning less than $24,000 a year said they were lonelier than those earning more. As these young people form adult friendships and romantic partnerships, get married, and start families, there are more opportunities for social contact. By retirement age, people’s social networks begin to wane again: children move out of the house, older adults lose touch with colleagues after they leave the workforce, chronic health conditions may limit one’s ability to leave the house, and loved ones die.
Other research has shown that infrequent contact with family, friends, and neighbors may lead to higher levels of loneliness in young adulthood and midlife. Having a local support network helped keep loneliness at bay for older adults.
Although gender has perhaps gotten the most attention recently for its connection to loneliness, it’s not as straightforward an indicator as you might think when it comes to lack of social connection. In her study, Graham found women tend to report higher levels of loneliness than men. A 2021 Cigna and Morning Consult survey found that about the same number of men and women said they were lonely; a 2019 meta-analysis reported similar findings — that men and women report equal levels of loneliness throughout their lives. Following the pandemic, men experienced a greater dropoff in their friendship circles compared to women, with 15 percent reporting having no close friends, which may have contributed to a narrative about a uniquely male loneliness crisis. However, just because men may be physically isolated does not mean they are more lonely.
Similarly, marital status is an imperfect predictor for a lack of satisfying social connections. While marriage has been linked with a lower risk of mortality, married people can experience loneliness when they do not receive emotional support from their spouse, a 2009 study found. Poor-quality romantic relationships can indeed be damaging to well-being, Holt-Lunstad says.
Parenthood can also be an equally isolating stage of life. Nearly two-thirds of parents and guardians are considered lonely, compared to just over half of non-parents, according to the Cigna/Morning Consult survey. Single parents and mothers are more likely to be lonely, the survey found. Over half of mothers with young children feel serious loneliness, per a 2021 Harvard report. However, the stage of the child’s life can impact parent loneliness. The newborn phase can be alienating for parents, while adult children may be a source of camaraderie and support.
People who live alone do tend to report higher levels of loneliness, research shows. “But those same people are also tending to seek out other sources of social contact,” Graham says. “So just because you live alone, if you’re not married or you don’t have kids in the house, people often are looking to seek out social situations beyond what would be considered the traditional, baked-in sources of contact with other humans.” Alternatively, married people with kids and a rich social life are not immune to loneliness either.
Physical and mental health also contribute to feeling socially connected. Mental health conditions, like anxiety, substance abuse disorder, depression, and suicidal ideation have been linked to loneliness. Regardless of age, having a physical disability is a risk factor for loneliness. “People who have a lot of functional limitations, making it difficult for them to get out of the house,” Graham says, “and people who have more chronic conditions, those also come with age, but we do find that all of those factors are related to being high in loneliness persistently.”
Another major contributor to loneliness is social marginalization. The Cigna/Morning Consult poll found that 75 percent of Hispanic adults and 68 percent of Black adults were considered lonely, compared to 58 percent of the general adult population. Fewer Black, Hispanic, and Asian adults reported having a strong social support system compared to white adults, per the 2023 KFF Racism, Discrimination and Health Survey. The survey also found that LGBT adults were about twice as likely to feel lonely compared to non-LGBT adults. A Centers for Disease Control and Prevention analysis found that over half of bisexual and transgender adults in 26 states reported feeling lonely. “What the data suggests is that there is variability even among those classifications, in terms of sexual orientation and identity as well as race and ethnicity,” Holt-Lunstad says.
How to address loneliness
Because loneliness can affect everyone, we shouldn’t look to eliminate the experience completely, Holt-Lunstad says. Loneliness is a wake-up call, a signal to seek social interaction. Without that alarm, we would wither in isolation. Paying attention to our social needs and identifying when we’re lacking in support and connection is the first step to addressing loneliness.
Once you recognize you’re feeling lonely, try to pinpoint what form of social interaction you’re craving: A heart-to-heart with a close friend? An evening mingling with acquaintances at a party? Maybe it’s just to observe strangers in a crowded bar.
Research has found that people were happiest when they interacted with a variety of people, from family members and best friends to coworkers and strangers. Make an effort to talk to as many different kinds of people as possible, Holt-Lunstad says. Other research suggests having a face-to-face, meaningful conversation with someone you love helps stave off loneliness.
Because everyone has different social needs — one person may need constant connection to not feel lonely while another is satisfied with a daily phone call with a friend — we need to support our loved ones whenever we can, Graham says. Whether it’s a neighbor who lives alone or a single parent, reach out to those who may be at highest risk for loneliness. “Knowing that there’s somebody there might be enough to mitigate any potential loneliness,” she says. “You have to know your people.”
